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                                                         SHIT HAPPENS

                                                  in various professions
                                              ------------------------

Mathematician:									   *Shit happening is just a special case...

Statistician:											   *There is an 83.7% chance that shit will happen. Maybe.

Physicist (Theoretical):        *Shit SHOULD happen.

Physicist (Experimental):    * To within experimental error, shit DID happen.

Engineer:                              * I hope this shit holds together.

Chemist:                               *I hope this shit doesn't blow up.
                														*Gee, what'll happen if I mix this and ... SHIT!!!!

Biologist:   												   *Is this shit alive?

Economist:    											  *I hope no one figures out that I don't really understand
                														 this shit.

Beurocrat:    											  *I'm sorry, but we can't do this shit until you fill out form
                													  XJ-314159 to make an appointment with our Assistant
								 										       Sub-Deputy Manager to obtain form ZN-271828...

CEO:           												  *(1980's) I've got all the shit I want.
               													   *(1990's) Oooh, SHIT!

Lawyer: 														  * For a sufficient fee, I can get you out of ANY shit.

Doctor:        											   *Take two shits and call me in the morning.
               													   *Yes, it's definitely a case of shit. $99.95, please...
               													   *Shit, where's this organ supposed to go?

Psychologist: 									    *Shit is in your mind.
               													   *Everything that happens is shit; some of it is just 
																					  repressing
                												    *its subconscious shittiness.

Programmer:    								     *It's shit, but at least it compiles.

Social Scientist:							    * Let's pretend that shit doesn't happen...

Politician: 										       *It's shit, but it'll get me elected.
               												     *If you elect me, there will never again be shit.
                												    *Shit is bad for the economy.

Waitress:      									      *You want fries with that shit?

Musician:     										     *This shit is out of tune.

Dean:          											   * Let's see how much shit the faculty'll take.

Accountant:   								       *Why doesn't this shit add up?

Linguist:       										   *What I'm doing is a bunch of feces tauri.
                 											     (For non-Latin-speakers: feces tauri=the excrement of a 
																						bull)

Quality Control Inspector:	  *This shit ain't good enough.

IRS Auditor:                         * I'll make 'em squirm for putting this shit on their tax
                                            forms.

Farmer:                               * I get subsidies for my shit.

Union leader:                        *Give us more shit or we'll strike.

Mafia boss:                          * Rub the shit out.

NYC Cab Driver:                    * Damn, looks like I hit that shit...